Monday, August 29, 2011

Motorcycle Gear - How Much Do You or Don't You Wear?

As I travel the roads of Iowa I see many motorcycles on the road and their riders adorn a wide range of attire. The thing that really puzzles me is the helmet, shorts, and sandals/flip flops look.

I'm all for being an individual on your motorcycle and having your own look. The part that puzzles me is when a person values their noggin but doesn't value their skin, legs, or feet. I've actually tried to shift with sandals on and I don't see how you can do it without messing up your toes.

Honestly, I don't wear full gear. I wear a 1/2 helmet, protective eye wear, gloves, jeans, short or long sleeve shirt, depending on the season, and boots. In cooler weather I may wear my leather coat or a lighter weight jacket.

So what do you wear? Are you the helmet, shorts, and sandals/flip flops rider, are you in between like me, or do you wear full gear? Maybe you don't wear a helmet at all but you wear all the other stuff or not. I'd love your feedback on this topic.

Ride on and be safe!

Friday, August 12, 2011

R.I.P Jani Lane

Back in the day I was a Hair Band freak! I loved Poison. I loved Bon Jovi. I loved Motely Crue. But the singer and band that I was ever so crazy about was Jani Lane and Warrant. Sadly I found out this morning that Jani passed away on Thursday. A bottle of vodka and prescription drugs by the bed side. Kind of sounds like the song by Bad Company called Shooting Star.

My all time favorite Warrant song has to be Mr. Rainmaker. Rest in Peace Jani Lane. I hope you are in a better place now, free from all your pain.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

You Didn't Know Jack Shit Until Now!

So Jack give us a bio about yourself.
I may talk the talk, but I WALK THE WALK! There are many things in this life that we are uncertain of but there is one thing that I know for sure, I’ve never screwed anyone! So when judgment day comes, I’ve got that going for me! I bring smiles across the miles. My sole purpose in life is to make people happier than they were before seeing me. I’m a comedian, writer, Ordained Minister and a roaster. I can teach anyone how to slaughter someone else, all in good fun of course. I am an event host and a master of ceremonies. In recent years I have hosted at Arizona Bike Week and had the great honor of hosting the World Famous, Broken Spoke Saloon in Downtown Sturgis for the 70th anniversary. I’ve performed 50 wedding ceremonies and sadly half that many funerals, many for people I have loved and lost. You never realize what is good in your life until you have lost something or someone great! More than anything I have ever been, I AM A BIKER! I just can’t shake it. For me, it’s not about the bike but that you ride. I love old American Iron though. My love is my 1947Knucklehead and can’t imagine life without it! That bike has opened more doors and caused introductions to people who have grown in to being truly amazing friends. That is why I love bikes. A complete stranger can walk up to you in a place that you have never before been and tell you about the bike he or she rides. You instantly have something in common, it is amazing and motorcycles cross all boundaries and barriers. I’m a Jersey boy living in the desert of Arizona. Like they say, you can take the boy out of Jersey, but you can’t take the Jersey out of the boy! What small amount of notoriety that I do have in this world, I believe it is because I have staked it all on being completely and totally honest, without fail, always! If I say it, bank on it as being the truth! My life so far has been one wild roller coaster ride with a great many ups and far too many downs! So I invite you in, take a look around and welcome to Jack Shit’s World. I hope you enjoy the ride.

When did you first discover motorcycles?
It is hard for me to remember the age as I was truly not much more than a toddler. Back in the day, when your dad got his paycheck, he went to the bank and cashed it. My father was truly a hero who put his life on the line every single day, he was a cop in Newark, N.J. and this was just after the riots. We were standing on line at the bank waiting for the next teller. I could feel a presence behind us and being a fidgety kid, I was looking around. I looked back and down and saw the biggest, blackest boots that went right on up to the knees of the person wearing them. I mean these things were spit shined. I looked up and kept looking up and up and up and at the top was a snarling face of the biggest, blackest man I’d ever seen in my brief time on earth. I stood there staring, he made my dad look like a boy he was so damn big! Suddenly, the biggest pair of hands I’d ever seen reached out and grabbed me! He picked me up and I was so scared that I could not even speak. He turned and began to walk out the door with me and I saw my dad look at me, then back to the teller. Why isn’t my dad helping me? I was carried right out to the street and as we went through the door I began to pound his back and kick and he said whoa buddy, take it easy! With that, he sat me on the seat of the first motorcycle I was ever close enough to touch! Instantly, I’d forgotten that a complete stranger just picked me up and pretty much just stole me! “Ya wanna hear it start boy”, he asked? Can I? With that, he fired up that bike and it forever changed me! I got to hit the horn, turn on the lights and rev the engine. He handed me the mic from the radio and said, “say STOP RIGHT THERE OR I’LL SHOOT”! I DID! Then he let me hit the “red” button and I could not get the smile off of my face. It was a feeling I would never forget, being the guy to turn the siren on, not the guy pulling over because he heard it! I’ll never forget that day as long as I live and I’ll never forget that motor officer who put me in the saddle of a life long passion! Later in life, as I recalled the memory to my dad just weeks before he passed away, he told me the officer’s name and told me that he had been shot and killed a few weeks after that day at the bank, while riding behind a van full of guys who had just robbed a bank. They opened the back doors and blew him away, he never knew it was coming. My dad told me that he never felt a thing, he was killed instantly, I sure hope that it was true!

What was your first motorcycle?
My first bike, I owned only briefly and hindsight being 20/20, I truly regret letting it go. It was a Triumph Bonneville and I got it when I was 16 and got rid of it when I was 16. It was then that I learned the wonderful lesson of, unless stopped, no one can see who is under a full face helmet. I rode that bike every chance I got even though I didn’t have a license. I hid it over at a friends house! My mother hates bikes now, imagine had she found out her lil’ boy was on one then! The first bike that I could “legally own” was like so many of us, a Honda CB 750 F, 4 cylinder, 4 carb deathtrap. I had that bike for a few years after I got my first Harley. Every once in a while, I would revert back to that lesson learned as a boy, nobody knows who is under the full face helmet and when I felt the need for speed, would take that scooter and run it like a mad man through the Pine Barrens of South Jersey!

What do you currently ride?
Right now I’m just a simple guy with just two bikes. I only recently acquired an incredibly low mile 1992 Harley FXRS Convertible. I’ve just returned from my first road trip on her. I put on a good 1000 miles running from Phx., AZ to Orange Co., California and I have to say that I now get it! I never understood the fascination and love that guys had for the FXR. I only wished that I had learned this lesson a long time ago! WHAT A BIKE! I’m taking it from a low ground pounding asphalt eating machine and turning it in to my “bagger”. I’ve recently acquired cop bags, cop seat, cop tank and cop fixed fairing. I wonder where my interest in that got started? Although I now love that FXRS, I do feel guilty each time I ride it because that means that I am leaving my true love, alone in the garage. My pride and joy and my everyday rider, right up until two weeks ago is my 1947 FL Knucklehead! In my opinion, one of the most bad ass machines to ever hit the street! Her style is absolutely timeless. She could have come out of a shop or garage at anytime between the 50’s and last week and her styling is timeless! The only other girl that my wife allows me to caress and fondle and pronounce my undying love for and believe me, that took a few years to become cool with her.

How many motorcycles have you owned and what were they?
In comparison to most guys these days, I guess not all that many. I had to count on my fingers, but I believe 6 is the correct answer on that one. I had the Bonnie, the CB, my rodeo queen softail custom, my knuck, my street glide and now my FXRS. I don’t think that I’ve missed any?

How do you feel when you are riding?
Like a porn star with a 74” monster love stick between his legs on a great day. On other days and other rides, I feel like a porn star with an 80” monster love stick between my legs!

Is there a motto that you live by?
L,L,H & R! Love, Loyalty, Honor and Respect! You have to give it to get it! They are each equally earned and never just given and that goes both ways! I am also a firm believer in always doing the right thing, no matter what the cost! For me, in the end, it is better TO BE JUDGED BY 12 THAN CARRIED BY 6!

Do you feel you are treated differently because you choose to ride a motorcycle?
I believe that for the most part, the days of being treated badly because of being a biker are over! I mean hell, who doesn’t either own and ride a bike or have a family member, a friend or know that “scary guy” who rides? The stigma of being a “scum bag” is over. I feel that in fact it is the opposite now! I believe that rather than be run off by us, more and more people are vying for our dollars! Everyone and every place from Hooters to Churches are hosting bike events these days. I really miss the days of people stepping out of your way, of people looking the other way and of people terrified to speak to you and who prayed that you didn’t speak to them. Now I just smile when someone who has no idea of anything “biker” walks straight across the parking lot to come and talk to you about “that awesome sickle” I’m riding. They walk away smiling and feeling a little bit bad ass because they just had the balls to walk over to the pack of big bad bikers and SURVIVED IT!

Why Harley Davidson?
I’m going to go out on a limb here and take a chance. I can only hope and pray that the motor company’s attorneys don’t come pounding down my door for saying it, but screw it, I’m going to do it anyway. Since I am not saying it for profit, I think I am well within my right to use the phrase without fear of being sued for trademark infringement; IF I HAVE TO EXPLAIN, YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND! I am an American and I’m proud! When I can do it, I buy American and I ride American. I can’t always pull it off and it is harder and harder these days to do, but if I can, I spend the money I make in America on America!

Do you have any mentors or heroes? If so, what have they taught you and why do they fall in this category in your life?
This may be the most difficult question asked yet? Growing up, my father was my hero. For me, it was not only because he truly was “a hero” but because he taught me those four letters that I mentioned above. He taught me every single value that I live with! He always put others above and before himself. He was shot in the chest and returned to work! He was shot in the head and returned to work! He loved being a cop and helping people. He devoted his life to helping people both on and off the job! These days, it may sound really corny but my hero is my girl. We each have our own nightmare to deal with these days but her shit is something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. For the last 10 years she has been battling MS. Her philosophy is simple; Someone always has it worse than I do, so why bother complaining? She is the rock in the family. Hell, let me correct that, she is the rock for everyone in our lives. She puts everyone before herself, every single time, without fail! If each of us lived our lives the way that she does, the world would be a much better place. Did I mention that she has THE GREATEST ASS I’VE EVER SEEN? Oh, guess I just did!

Is there someone in the motorcycle community that you would like to hang with for a day and have never had the opportunity to before and why?
For this, I am blessed! Doing what I do, I get to be around everyone in our industry, in our lifestyle and who shares the same passion. I’ve been lucky enough to be around, spend time with or ride side by side with some of the greats and I cherish each and every one of those memories and by the grace of God, I’ll keep making them! If there was one person that I would have loved to hang with and never really had the chance, it would have been without question, INDIAN LARRY! The man’s story was just incredible! His passion and purity in the art that he created was in my own personal opinion beyond comparison! Everyone that I know, who had the fortune to know Larry said the same thing, he was one of a kind!

Do you have a favorite rally?
For me it was always Daytona. There was nothing like coming out of the deep freeze of the northeast and it getting warmer and warmer the closer you got to bike week! Getting that first wicked sunburn of the year within a day of arriving and not giving a shit was priceless. Now though, after having worked as the host of the BROKEN SPOKE SALOON in Sturgis, it is hard to even compare anything else to it. It truly is the Mecca of motorcycling! If only once in your life, you MUST make it to the Sturgis Rally. The people watching is insane, the partying mind blowing and the events are incredible as well but for me, the riding is just stellar! I offer you this advice though if you go, when you stop at a stop sign, keep your feet down on the ground for 3 seconds or THE MAN will eat you for lunch!

Do you have a favorite place to ride and why?
I think it would be easier to say that there is no place I have ever ridden that I didn’t like! I live in Arizona and I ride all year. Most riders here put their bikes away in the summer and only break them out late at night. We have day time temps of 120 and greater at times and let me tell you it can suck! If you have never taken out your nuts and placed them directly on to a hot frying pan than you may not understand. The roads, the mountains and the scenery here are just spectacular. Within a half day of riding from Phx., I can be in Vegas, Los Angeles, San Diego, Utah, Colorado, New Mexico and have my toes dipped in the Sea of Cortez in Mexico. Since I began riding, I’ve never experienced all around riding as nice as it is here in Arizona.

What are your thoughts on women riding their own motorcycles?
I love it! Quite simply a woman on her own bike means less shit that she will ask me to carry on mine! Seriously though, I don’t see it as “women riders”, we are all just riding to me and for me, the more people who share my passion and my love of riding the better. You never see a bike parked outside of a shrink’s office do ya? Then again, you may if it is the shrink’s bike! At running the risk of sounding like a sexist pig, I think that it is incredibly sexy! The confidence that one must have to control a machine running 75 mph, inches off the ground with nothing to keep you safe but your leathers and your skills is very attractive to me! I’ve never been a fan of the “needy girl” but love a woman who stands, or rather rides, side by side with her man, not behind him, but as in life, confidently next to him. Even more, the woman who has the guts, the faith and the confidence in herself and her machine to take off on the road alone has earned my total respect!

Is there really a motorcycle “wave” or is it just something we do to freak
non-riders out?

Yes there really is and there is a jeep wave and a corvette wave and disgustingly now, THE PRIUS wave! I understand the tradition and its roots. Back in the day, it was extremely rare to see another rider, much less another rider on a Harley. Early on in my “riding life”, I asked a then “old timer” about the wave and why and he clued me in to it! He told me it was so rare to see someone else riding and not pulled over on the side of the road having his bike towed or his ass in handcuffs, that they just gave each other a little “fuck yeah, he gets it” wave! He said there were times back then where riders would pull over or turn around just to bullshit with each other, check out each other’s ride and as he said it, “fire up a doob man”! The wave still exists, but for me, why bother? There are so many bikes on the road these days, especially here in AZ., that I would be riding with one hand on the throttle and the other waving like a beauty queen on a damn parade float all damn day!

What do you think of helmet laws?
I am appalled by them! I am at my core, against any law that takes away any American’s right to choose what is best for them. Can a helmet save your life? YES! Can a helmet take your life? YES! It all depends on the circumstance. If I get started on laws, rights and or government, I am going to have a lot of people yelling “hell yeah” or “asshole” at their computer screens, so it’s best to just move on! Momma always said, the fastest way to ruin a party is to discuss politics or religion!

Do loud pipes really save lives?
THEY SURE AS HELL DO and don’t let anyone ever tell you differently! If I have to choose between annoying someone at a sidewalk cafĂ© enjoying their HALF CAF, DECAF, MOCHA, CHOCA, LATTE and being sideswiped by some teenager who is paying more attention to the sexting pics she is sending back and forth with her pimple faced boyfriend, I will choose saving my life and MAKING MY PRESENCE KNOWN each and every single time! Even the driver who is paying attention to every single aspect of driving may not see a bike in his/her blind spot, but they sure as hell will hear it! There is a way to run even straight pipes on a big ass stroker motor and not be a total asshole, just shift early and keep the rpm’s down and everyone is happy. I must admit one guilty pleasure though and I don’t care if each and every single person reading this thinks I am a total putz! I love going through a tunnel and downshifting and letting them rpm’s rev way up! It gives me an extra special tingle in my happy place!

You have a blog called Jack Shit's World? How did it get it's name? Why did you decide to start blogging?
A good friend of mine, the promoter who gave me my start in stand up comedy took the time to sit down with me one night and bust my balls relentlessly. He loved my comedy and loved my writing. He told me, that to be successful in this day and age, one must have a multi level, multi media plan of attack to get out there and let the world know, it’s time to stop and take a look at you! I listened intently as he gave me in great detail the plan of not only what to do, but exactly how to do it! The longer the talk went on, the more informative it was and the faster the Jack and Cokes went down. I was intrigued with both his knowledge and the success that he had. I ONLY WISH I COULD REMEMBER A DAMN THING HE SAID THAT NIGHT! I do recall something about a booger! He later reminded me that I would not be a booger, I would be a blogger, who knew? Sometimes, I think it is the same thing! As I have done most of my life, I have taken great advice and completely ignored it. Every now and again, I would have a few minutes and being a writer at heart, I would just sit down behind the keys and let it fly. Each time that I did it, I would get rave reviews from people. Often times, the kind words from people would come from people in the know. I would once again get my balls busted about blogging. To be totally honest, I had no idea what a blog even was and when it was explained to me, all I could think of was why in the world would anyone ever read some else’s blog? I DON’T GET IT, was usually the response that I would give. Right after hosting the 70th annual Sturgis rally at the Broken Spoke last year, I sat down one night and wrote about it. I posted it on face book in the “notes” section. I could not believe the response that it got! I had a friend on face book and her name was Lisa Ballard. Lisa had recently become the West Coast Editor for Cycle Source Magazine. Every now and again, she would send me a message with the kindest, most encouraging words and I will never forget them. Each time, she would more or less tell me, “you have to start blogging man”! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know…. But, one question, what the hell is a blog? She was so kind that she told me that she would design it, host it, take care of it and all I had to do was write it and provide the content, she would take care of the rest! I am not a taker, I am a giver and to be honest, I didn’t want to owe anyone for something that I could take care of myself. My dear friend, George the Painter from the Horse Back Street Choppers mag., had a blog, so I took a look at his. I went on to blogger and found a template and it was pretty damn easy to make one. I made a promise to myself that I would genuinely work at it to the best of my ability, grudgingly! The deal that I made with myself was that if in one year’s time, if I had 20 or 25 followers, I can’t remember the number now and 1000 page views I would continue on with it. As I sit here doing this interview, that silly blog has 149 followers and just shy of 35 thousand page views and it is viewed now in 77 countries around the world and it has only been 7 months! Looks like I am stuck with it now!

So Jack Shit is your road name. How did you get it?
It sure the hell is and it is the only name I go by. In what seems like a past life now, I use to run with a “group” of fine gentlemen. I was at the time one of the youngest guys to have come around and the older guys said that I would never make it, I would never last 6 months and regardless of what I thought, I would never be anything. By definition, Jack Shit means NOTHING! When someone says, you don’t know Jack Shit, it means that you know nothing! So because my name was Jack, my nickname went from Meoff, to Shit, Jack Shit to be exact. For the record, I proved them all wrong and lasted just shy of a decade! I may not be “them” anymore, but for the record, I’m still Shit, Jack Shit to be exact!

What is the wildest thing that has happened to you on the road?
I guess that I would have to ask you exactly what that question means? On a bike? On a ride? On the way to work? Each and every single time I get on a bike it is an adventure. So let me answer each of those and hopefully one of them will be correct. On a bike; one night in a bar, a great friend of mine, an older biker was telling a tale of how he had received oral sex while riding! I immediately slammed my drink down on the bar and called bullshit! He said no man, really, it’s not that hard, you just need a sissy bar and a flexible girl. I said “c’mon man”? He put his drink down, grabbed his “flexible girl” and we all walked to the parking lot. By God, it is possible and as I turned and looked at my bike thought, oh my, I have both! We had just moved to that town and knew nothing about it so we promptly finished our drinks and took off down the road. We rode a few miles and found a dark, straight road and stripped off all non essential clothing and you know what? IT IS POSSIBLE! On a side note, the next time we drove down that road that we kept going back and forth on until we got it right was in the day light and that little building we kept passing was the police dept. On a ride? This is going to sound like I am a mad man but to hell with it, I’ll tell you anyway. One night while leading a pack of about 35 or so bikes side by side going through the pine barrens of Jersey, I SAW THE JERSEY DEVIL HOP AND FLY ACROSS THE ROAD! I was not the only one! The truly crazy part is up until that moment, I only thought the Jersey Devil was a hockey team. It wasn’t until watching the History channel one night and saw a special on this thing did I realize what in the hell it was that I saw. THE KNOWLEDGE DID NOT HELP ME SLEEP! On the way to work? I was running late one day and running up a four lane divided highway. It was pretty cold so I was wearing gauntlet gloves. I was of course running late, as usual and I was flying up the left lane, splitting lanes and cutting real close to cars and passing between cars and the concrete divider when the car in front of me drove over a newspaper in the road. That newspaper flew up and covered my face and the more I grabbed at it with those leather gloves, the more my fingers would just slip right off it, I could not grab it. It had to be on my face for 15 seconds and it was quite possibly, the longest and most horrifying 15 seconds of my life! As I pulled the paper off, the cars in front of me had come to a dead stop! I squeezed between them, smashed the mirror off of a pick up truck with my shoulder and just kept on going. I stopped at a gas station about 3 miles up the road, checked my bike, my shoulder and my underwear, all were okay! I looked up to the big man in the sky, gave him a wink and rode off to work where I was promptly yelled at for being late and told, hope you have a good excuse! Boy do I!

Are there any lessons that you’ve learned on the road that stand out the most?
Always carry two bandannas, duct tape and NEVER, EVER SPEAK TO THE POLICE! Most importantly I’ve learned over the years that 15 grand and 15 miles doesn’t make you a biker!

Do you like riding with a group or are you more of a lone rider?
I love to ride with a group! If not for the motivation of the group, I would never get anywhere. I would be riding around in circles. I’m not sure what it is that I love so much about it. I’ve always said that “it is never the destination but the journey” and I am all about sharing that journey with the people that mean the most to me! What I won’t do unless I have no choice is to ride with a group that I don’t really know. For example, a poker run. I won’t just slip in side by side next to someone that I don’t know if they have been riding 20 weeks or 20 years! If I am going to die on a bike because of some incredibly stupid move, I WILL BE THE ONE TO MAKE THAT MOVE!

What has your greatest accomplishment been?
Now that is one hell of a question! I am my own worst critic and I think that there is nothing that I do well. So when you ask this, I stop and think and all that comes to mind right now is that I didn’t get any piss on the rim of the toilet bowl today, so perhaps in my wife’s eyes, that was a great accomplishment! I believe that we are put on earth to help each other and I try to never turn my back on anyone. It may not be my greatest accomplishment but I will share this. About 4 months or so ago, I had posted up on my blog. I had an idea when I began to write what I was going to talk about but as usual, the writing went off the deep end. It went some place far and away from the original idea. I never read what I write, I spell check it and post it for fear of editing it. I usually sit down to write late at night. This night was no different. I wrote and posted the piece. I couldn’t sleep that night and at about 5 am heard my phone signal that I had a message. When I looked at the message I was stone blown away! The message was from a woman in the U.K. and what she wrote in the message I will never forget. She had told me that she was very sick and had been for a long time. Her child was murdered by some sick fuck and she was at the end of her rope! She had spoken to one of her friends earlier that evening and her friend had sensed how bad she was feeling but had no idea that later that night, she had planned to take her own life. She wrote how she had written the note already to explain to her family why she could not keep up the fight any longer, why she just wasn’t willing to fight any more! She wrote about how she had dumped out the bottle of pills on to the table she had placed next to the tub. She laid out in great detail to me how she had planned to fill the tub only half way so that when she slit her wrists her family would not have to clean up a horrible mess! I had chills as I read the message as I thought it was someone saying goodbye, openly and honestly to a virtual stranger. What blew me away was how it ended. She told me that it was my blog post that had stopped her in her tracks! How her friend had sent it to her, that she had never seen it nor heard of me before. She told me how she read and then re-read the post, over and over again. It was because of something that I had written that had kept her from taking her own life and finding new strength to carry on! It may not be my greatest accomplishment, but it is one that I am most proud of and I will never forget that message as long as I live. We never know how one action, one gesture or one silly blog post can affect someone else. So be careful in your actions and in your deeds, a butterfly farting in Russia could cause a tsunami in Fiji! Hey, ya never know right?

Do you feel like there are divisions in the motorcycle community because of the type or brand of motorcycle you ride?
I believe that in the times we live in, there are divisions in each and every community. We, each and every single one of us, need to accept people for who they are and stop judging each other. Life is far too short for silly bullshit like this! In my circle, the chopper circle, times have changed dramatically. You don’t have to have a Harley Chopper to be “cool” any longer. If you take any stock bike from any country of origin and chop that thing up and turn it in to your own personal style, with your father’s and grandfather’s tools that have been handed down to you or if you bought a small welder from Harbor Freight, then you are kick ass in my book! If you fire up a torch to mold metal or pound away on a piece of steel to turn it in to something from your mind’s eye, who is anyone to judge you? To say that they are more “cool” than you because they went and purchased a new 35k dollar “chopper”, while you worked extra shifts or on Sunday’s to earn enough money to finance the repair of that old engine or for parts is the biggest crock of shit! I am sick of judgmental assholes who try and push their hang ups or hatred on to others! Take that shit and shove it straight up your ass, you won’t be hanging out with me anytime soon or any longer for that matter! First it was if you didn’t ride a Harley then you weren’t “cool”. Then it was if you rode a sportster, a “girls bike” then you weren’t cool. I ask, who are these people that think they are the “keepers of cool”?

If you knew this was your last day on earth, what would you do?
These are great questions! It is funny that you mention this because my next tattoo will run around my collar bone, across my chest and it will be backwards. It will read CARPE DIEM! Latin for seize the day! The reason that I will have it done backwards is so that each day, when I wake up and look in the mirror, it will forever remind me that each and every day we receive is a gift and that is why they call it the PRESENT! I write all about this, all the time! My wife, who I have been with for 25 years now, suffers from Multiple Sclerosis. Today she can see, today she can walk and tomorrow she may wake up and not be able to. Over the last 10 or so years, we have learned to live each and every single day to the fullest. To love without abandon or second thought. To give as deeply as we can to anyone who deserves it, to anyone who needs it! I try to PAY IT FORWARD always. What would I do if it were my last day? I’d do what I did yesterday and did today and what I will do tomorrow if God willing there is one! Live each day like there will be no tomorrow and you will never look back with regret!

When you are not riding what do you enjoy doing?
I masturbate! I masturbate with reckless abandon! Well you asked, right? I write. I love to write. For me it doesn’t matter if it is comedy for myself or material for others. I’ve been a published poet for all that is worth. That and 11 dollars might get you a coffee at Starbucks. I just began to write recently for Cycle Source Magazine and I am really excited about that! I find peace in working with plants, I always have. NO, NOT THOSE KIND OF PLANTS! When I travel, I will find small “baby plants” or saplings or clippings and I will take them home and transplant them. I love to give them as gifts. What better than giving a living gift? I like to dick around with bikes but will never claim to be any type of mechanic or builder, I only wish I had that type of skill. I just simply love to entertain people. Nothing on earth makes me as happy as when I realize that the smile on the face of the person across from me is there, because I PUT IT THERE!

Do you have a favorite swear word?
FUCK NO I DON’T, I LOVE THEM ALL! Here is some JackShitLosophy for you. For me, this is an issue all the time in stand up comedy. You are supposed to have two acts. One is your tonight show, clean act that you could perform anywhere and the other is your night club act. Well, the problem is, I don’t have an act! I just get up on stage and tell the truth and nothing but the truth. If the word fuck is used in telling that true story then who am I to change history? Here is another bit of that same philosophy. I don’t believe that there are “swear words”, “dirty words” or the usual “bad words”. What I believe is that there are UGLY WORDS! I truly believe that me saying ass raping goat fucker on stage will do far less damage to a person than telling someone that they are fat, or ugly or useless. Those are hurtful words, if there were such a thing as “bad words”, it would be those type of words.

What are you currently reading?
I realized about 8 years ago that I have wasted far too much time and far too many brain cells to ever again read a work of fiction. I only read things that would bore most morticians and accountants. I read psych books and such. I try my damndest to understand the human condition. My favorite book though, by far is a book that I read until it ends, then flip back to page one and begin it again. I’ve been doing it for 5 years now and it is the ART OF WAR. Everyone should read it, learn it and live it! It doesn’t matter if you are a florist or a General, there are life lessons to be learned no matter who we are or what we do.

What’s in your CD player?
I’ve had the very same cd in my truck cd player since I pulled out of the parking lot of the Broken Spoke Saloon in Sturgis last August. We had the great pleasure of having Dallas Moore and the Snatch Wranglers perform for our guests there. I did a little barter with Mrs. Dallas Moore. I gave her an I know Jack Shit tank and she gave me some cd’s. I have never taken it out since I put it in and hit play! Dallas Moore rules!

Jack will be in Sturgis as the Host at the Broken Spoke Campground, August 4 - 14th. If you are going you have to check him out. I'm sure you can tell he's one of a kind and it will be a freaking fabulous time at the Broken Spoke Campground!

If you want a I know Jack Shit t-shirt you can buy them on the Jack Shit's World blog. Flat Wooley even has one!! All the proceeds from the Jack Shit t-shirts goes to help pay for Jack's wife's medication.(pic far right)